Enjoy the naked masses at Florida nude beach
Whenever “Florida” comes up in conversation, the word “beach” immediately comes to mind for most people- Miami, West Palm, and Mar-a Lago for the privileged guests of current U.S. President Donald J. Trump. The U.S. state of Florida, located in the south eastern part of that country, embraces over a thousand miles of coastline on both the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean. Many consider it a beach-goer’s paradise. Although parts of Florida are socially conservative, this southern state offers ample opportunity for healthful naturist activity. For readers not yet familiar with the potential health benefits of nude sunbathing, please refer to “Nude Sunbathing, It Does a Body Good”, Spanking FIT, Aug. 2015. These benefits include: prevention of osteoporosis and certain forms of cancer, and increased hormone levels (e.g. IGF-1 & testosterone). The cited contradiction between the presence of socially conservative elements and acceptance of naturism is, perhaps, only greater in even more conservative Texas (See “Skinny Dipping through the Southern U.S.A.” Spanking FIT, July2016 ).
Welcome to another of Spanking FIT’s international nude beach evaluations (Part I-F) and our detailed assessment of one of Florida’s located in north Haulover Park. It is, perhaps, the most famous of its kind in the state for two reasons: first, it is located between the popular destinations of Miami and Ft. Lauderdale; and, secondly, it actually has the blessing of local officials for legal nude use. Haulover Park is located just off Highway 1 and the Intercoastal Way (Collins Ave.). Its G.P.S. coordinates are 25.9066 North & 80.1244 West. When you arrive at the beach parking lot you will see lots of concessions offering a variety of drinks and snacks. The legally sanctioned nude section is on the northern end. Just look for the sign “warning” of the possibility of nude sunbathers. As in all of our previous segments, Spanking FIT evaluated the beach in the categories of health, safety, and enjoy-ablility. In the health category, our evaluation includes beach cleanliness, water cleanliness, and the absence of parasites including mosquitoes and flies. Safety includes primarily the risks of becoming a crime victim, or of being arrested for public nudity. Enjoy-ability factors include weather, scenery, and the sociability of beach participants.
Health (B+)
Like all beaches located in Dade County Florida, water quality at Haulover is monitored by the Florida Healthy Beaches Program (F.H.B.P.) of the Florida Department of Health (F.D.O.H.) The latter gives Haulover Beach “north” a “good” rating for most of the year with respect to enterococci bacteria counts. Such named bacteria are responsible for a wide range of serious medical conditions. The department has also issued public warnings regarding vibrio vulnificus or “flesh-eating” bacteria which can afflict beach-goers who swim or wade in the ocean with broken skin. (Cases of vibrio vulnificus are rare.)
On the subject of beach cleanliness, keep in mind that Haulover Beach is among Florida state’s most heavily visited. Expect to encounter some litter and debris, as we did. The sand-roving beach “ambassadors” that belong to South Florida Free Beach (S.F.F.B.), do their share in seeing that health standards are maintained. S.F.F.B. is the same organization which lobbied for full legal nude status for Haulover Beach in the year 2006. Their no-pet beach policy also enhances cleanliness. (No offense to little fido.)
Haulover Beach does offer shower facilities. Since they’re located outside of the nudity-allowed area, be sure to at least wear a swim suit on the way over.
Persons who are concerned about possibility of being exposed to pesticide should be advised of the following: due to discovery of Zika-infected mosquitoes, Miami-Dade County has taken an aggressive approach toward aerial spraying, much to the chagrin of regular beach users. (See: miamidade.gov/mosquito/index.html#section-) There were no parasites or pests present around the beach on the beautiful days last January in which Spanking FIT visited.
Safety (B)
Since Haulover is a legally sanctioned nude beach, there is zero chance of being cited, so long that you follow instructions on the posted signage. The fact that the beach is heavily populated on sunny days and is walking distance from hotels means that it’s unlikely you will be a victim of violent crime. Also, the beach is patrolled regularly by Miami-Dade police. What little crime that occurs is mainly in the category of petty theft and drug possession. The safety of beach users and swimmers is further enhanced by unusually physically fit life guards who, to the disappointment of some, are clothed in swim attire.
Enjoy-ability (B+)
For newcomers to the sensuous nude beach scene, Haulover may prove at first to be an overload to the senses. Expect to see literally thousands of naked bodies on any warm sunny day. (It was interesting for us to observe that the nearby much larger “textile beach” was practically deserted and offered a lot more solitude than the nude section.) For privacy-preferring naturists, a trip up the coast to Hobe Sound or Blind Creek Beach may be the solution. Both destinations will be explored in detail in Spanking FIT’s next nude beach segment. Haulover does, on the other hand, have the advantage of being in close proximity to downtown Miami with all its attractions.
The Haulover crowd is quite diverse so that you may expect to hear many other languages spoken there besides English. The beach is also a favorite among European tourists who insist on baring all. Partly due to its diversity, the sociability of beach-goers varies widely also.
Although there are no actual statistics available, my impression from visiting is that the mean (average) age of users compared to other places is high. We observed lots of leather-skinned seniors parading themselves in the buff. This was in contrast to the eye-catching young specimens of both sexes who occasionally decorated the sands. Dispersed throughout the beach are grass huts in which “massage therapists” perform their arts.
Haulover Nude is extremely popular among so-called “gays”. That fact contributes to the noticeably high male-to-female ratio there. The beach also has a moderate problem with clothed “gawkers”.
Weather-wise, Miami winters are dry with temperature highs ranging between 70 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit (21 to 27 centigrade). During its wet season from May until mid-October, temperature highs range from mid-80’s to low 90’s F. (29 to 34 C.). Daytime heat is frequently relieved by the sea breezes off the Atlantic Ocean. You can expect an occasional thunderstorm to cause you to retreat to the car or to your hotel room. Florida hurricane season takes place June through November and it is highly advised to heed issued warnings to avoid the beach.
Finally, from an important medical perspective, fair-skinned individuals of Type I or II Fitzpatrick skin tone should limit the amount of exposure time to the intense Florida sun. They may prefer to visit nude beaches of the U.S. and Canadian Pacific Northwest instead, if desiring lengthy beach “hang outs”. (See: “International Nude Beach Evaluation, Part IB”, Spanking FIT, Aug. 2015). On the other hand, individuals of darker skin tone (Types III through V) who reside in less sunny environments will benefit by visiting Haulover and the nude beaches of Mexico and nearby Cuba. This will allow them to compensate for possible deficiencies in cutaneous vitamin D. (See: “Dangerously Naked, Nude Beaches of Mexico”, Spanking FIT, April 2016 and “Fellow Travelers-Hit the Nude Beaches of Communist Cuba”, Spanking FIT, Nov. 2016). Thank you very much for your interest. As usual, I look forward to your valuable feedback. Dr. Garrett